I was cool once. At least I’m pretty sure I was.
Between the ages of 15 – 20 I was convinced of it. These were the 80’s and I was a popped collar bastion of cool. I wore safety pins in my construction pants which I of course bought at Hercules on Yonge St. I wouldn’t consider wearing any shoe that wasn’t a Bass Weejun, Tretorn or Vans. Polo, Lacoste, Club Monaco & Roots were all part of the uniform and of course my beachwear was Quicksilver, Billabong and Chip & Pepper.
This was back when The Edge was known as CFNY and Chris Sheppard was considered subversive. The music of choice back then was alternative. Meaning Depeche Mode, The Smiths, The Cult, New Order etc.
Moving into the 90’s it became more about plaid and Doc Martins with very expensive ripped jeans. The music became heavier – Soundgarden, Nirvana – but still everything was calculated in order to maintain the cool factor. This was important to me, I wanted… no… needed to be hip. Frankly so did everybody my age and still does.
This brings me to the death of cool. Even at 38 I clung to the idea that I was still “pretty cool”, but now I was a “cool dad” – having had 3 kids – hopefully a cool husband (only my wife can attest to that). The clothing is less calculated now, to be honest I wear whatever is in my closet that fits my expanding waistline regardless of how cool it is, music is still important but now I think what the kids are listening to is boring and all sounds the same.
But the final nail in the coffin of my coolness came last night… we bought a min-van. A Dodge Grand Caravan to be exact. The fact that Stow-N-Go seating was incredibly important in this purchase drove it all home. After the words “we need full Stow-N-Go” came out of my mouth when describing features we wanted in this van, I realized there had been a paradigm shift. I always swore high up and low down that I would NEVER buy a mini-van. I made fun of my friends who did so, told them they had just admitted far too much, told them that blue rinse in their greying hair was next yadda, yadda. To me buying a van was just selling out – you CAN’T be cool with a mini-van dammit!
Of course shoe horning my 3 little girls into the backseat of a Honda Accord was no trip in the park either. Sitting on the trunk lid to make it close because of the all the stuff we needed to pack for a weekend at the cottage wasn’t exactly practical. Not to mention the mountains of stuff piled up and around the kids in the back seat due to lack of trunk space. I also can’t fit my golf clubs in the trunk when it’s packed. If it were up to me we’d forego a few items of luggage to wedge the clubs in but my wife has other priorities. Apparently food and clothing can’t be substituted for golf clubs.
However with the new (trumpet blast) Mini-Van we can now fit EVERYTHING including the kitchen sink (as well as my clubs) into the van. And that seems pretty cool to me.
Being a single car family for the past 4 years has put a serious cramp on my wifes freedom and the van now gives her some much needed mobility. She’s very happy about that.
THAT seems pretty cool to me.
My kids aren’t practically sitting in each others lap beating the crap out of each other on long road trips.
This is cool too (and a lot quieter).
When I told my 6 year old, Emma, last night that we had bought a van she jumped up and down saying “That’s SO COOL Daddy!”, and showered me with hugs and kisses.
A happy wife? Happy kids?Lots of hugs and kisses?!…. I think my ideas of what cool is have changed.
And you know what? That’s cool.
Love, Peace and Hairgrease.
brodg
So I’m doing the blogging thing… I’d love to tell you to “stay tuned for content you just won’t want to miss!” but I’m afraid I can’t quite commit to that just yet. Certainly this will start off as some sort of navel gazing, long winded speech on my views and opinions that perhaps most won’t want to read. Or perhaps it will turn into a passionate cry for the redemption of mankind or a call for an end to the world’s injustices with Bono as my wingman.
Who knows? I guess if you’re interested you’ll read… if not you won’t – deep eh?
At the very least I hope to make you smile – cuz as you’ll discover (If I ever post again) I tend to think I’m funny.
Love, Peace and Hairgrease.
brodg
